08 February, 2009

taking little things for granted.

Little things like being able to pick up an item from the floor, bending over to tie your shoes, emptying the dishwasher... these are daily tasks that when one throws out their back- they are no longer able to do.

Last night, i threw out my back. It wasn't the worst thing ever. I've done it before- had to relax for a day- and move on with life, right? Well this time in particular was no different... until today.
I went apartment shopping with my new roommate today and yes, my back hurt the entire time- but i could still walk. I could get in and out of her car. I traversed stairs. No problem.
The trouble came when i got home to help set up for the Ugly Sweater Party. I bent to empty the cat boxes. Pain. I went downstairs to collect garbage (which involves bending). Pain! I bent over to get something for Ashley... PAIN. It was the last thing that did me in though.
I went to go upstairs, lifted my leg for the first step--- couldn't move. Tried to shift my weight to the other leg... wasn't happening. Basically, i was very stuck where i was. The repeated attempts to get somewhere (i like to try to convince myself that it's all in my head and still do things despite the pain) were excruciating to the point of frustrated tears. i finally lost my balance, unable to correct it- i landed on the stair landing right on my contusion (from a year ago that is horrible. do. not. touch) which is on my leg, and jarred my back even further which was the most intense, violent pain that i have ever, EVER experienced.
Sobs were issued, for all i could do was kneel on my hands and knees and cry- but crying hurt. Sobbing ACHED because it jerked my back. I was embarrassed because i couldn't move out of the position i was in- and worst of all, i felt like a jerk because this was supposed to be my party, and i couldn't help.

It took everything i had in me to move off the landing and lay on the floor next to the stairs. I cried for a couple minutes- moaned in pain... you know... wuss stuff (lol) and after composing myself- decided to call a friend of mine who is a massage therapist and was attending my party.

In broken english (broken because i had to stop and cry out now and then because my back would tense up and hurt beyond words) i asked him if he would be able to help. He said, "i'll be there in an hour."
and he was!

he brought his massage table and everything! more or less, LIFTED me onto the massage table and seriously did something that was magical.

After he was finished, i was still in pain- but to a much lesser degree. I could at least walk. With his help- i was able to go upstairs and join the party-
As the party continued, my back improved!
It still hurts to bend, laugh, and twist- but i can walk. i can lift things from waist height, and i can go up and down stairs without much ado.

The party was a success. Thanks to my best friend and her husband who were wonderful enough to pick up my slack in cleaning the house and getting everything organized after my back incident. We had 29 guests, and have about 25 ugly sweaters to donate to goodwill.
We had hearing friends and deaf friends alike, all of which were awesome and with the help of those of us who are hearing and can sign, (including myself, there were three of us) we were able to get everyone's points across.
I had a lot of fun- and after everyone left, i was actually able to help clean up, which made me feel better.


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