05 February, 2009


I dont know about you, or others... but i believe myself to have anxiety. No, i have not been diagnosed. No, i didn't look it up on the internet and become a hypochondriac. I have had a weird feeling almost daily (sometimes multiple times daily) that makes my heart beat faster, increases my breathing, and gives me something i can only describe as vertigo or uncomfortable butterflies in my chest. Sometimes it's frightening, most of the time i can control it. Usually it is not situational, in fact i believe one has to feel stress in order to be anxious... which makes me doubt myself. I'm a very laid back individual. I have my moments where i get frustrated with a situation- but they are very infrequent and rarely does day-to-day life bother me in the slightest.
I am a young adult that has had some rough moments- as such, i am not amazingly financially stable, my car has impending trouble, and i am on the search for an apartment- these things, i understand, stress other young adults out. Any combination of the above might be enough to send an acquaintance of mine into a tizzy about the possibility of a lost job or car... to me- these things are part of life and i frequently apply my motto "Life is too short to be unhappy."
it is my belief that this motto has kept me at an emotional plateau.
I do not know how to deal with this Anxiety other than offer it up to God and pray that he takes it from me.

Often times- it has helped. Others, not.
I wish i knew a way to keep it from happening on a daily basis. It surprises me that i can be sitting calmly (like now) not concentrating on anything terribly difficult... and suddenly feel the effects.
I suppose i'll just deal with it until otherwise informed on the matter. I do not consider it a hindrance to my lifestyle and i've been dealing with it since i can remember.

Speaking of dealing with things... i think it has come to a time where i need to schedule an oil change. LOL!
Actually it weighs on my mind every time i drive my poor car. I drove it from Seattle almost the entire way across the country in September- it is now January. I have checked the oil levels, when it's low, i add the appropriate amount of oil... You know- there was a time when i could change my own oil. I could go to the store and buy the right oil, the filter, and all that jazz.
There was a time i was unafraid.
That time was a very long time ago.
Insomuch that i have a goal to make time this week to take my poor, poor car to WalMart and have its ghastly black tar changed for something a bit lighter in color. There was a place in Washington state that i liked called Oil Can Henry's. They treated me and my Blueberry (for that is the name of my car) like royalty. They refilled all my fluids, checked all my connections, changed my oil, and washed my windows. They gave me a free newspaper, and a cup of coffee (if only i drank it...), and all this for the bargain price of $35!
This does not include the $5 coupon that i received each time as an incentive to return.

Oh Oil Can Henry's... how i miss thee.


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