18 February, 2009

Jesus and Chocolate make me happy.

I have felt such an amazing closeness to God recently. It's been outstanding! I challenged myself to pray more, to pray with more meaning, and to put my mind and heart in the right places.
In a sense, get more in touch with my "spiritual".

I have. It is wonderful. I can't help but feel like i'm supposed to be worth something. I'm supposed to make a difference.

When i was young, i was raised to believe that as a young adult i was supposed to go on a church mission to another place and teach the gospel of Jesus Christ. I was supposed to share God's love with others. When i got married, i was no longer allowed to go, so it was just a dream that never got to be realized. How i longed to go though... i wanted it with my heart. Insomuch that whenever i tithed, i paid money towards a "missionary fund" that my church created to help pay for those who wanted to go but couldn't financially.

I am a divorcé and no longer attend my childhood church for personal reasons. However, i have found a church that i DO feel at home in. A place where i DO feel like i truly belong. I feel motivated to help and be part of a community of Christians.
I've made a big decision in my life that took a lot of emotion and a lot (i mean, a LOT) of true, honest to God, soul searching. I had to find myself again. I had to let God touch my heart again. I had been closed off for so long.
My decision is to be baptized! What better symbol of leaving my old life behind and starting anew with Jesus than baptism?

I look forward to my baptism (which is the weekend after Easter) with all the anticipation of a giddy child the night before Christmas. In my heart, i've already come to Christ. I am already there- i just get butterflies to think that i'm "announcing" my new life in front of God and EVERYONE!

Moreover, i am excited that i will be putting in an application to join a mission trip to Dungannon, Ireland this summer. The plan is to team up with our sister church there and rush their community with love and service through God. I can't wait to turn in my application and see what God will have me do.


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