17 June, 2011

I've got it bad.

image found here via Pinterest

BA-by-I-tis |bãb ee ī'tĭs|


a disease characterized by intense feeling of longing for a child. Severity of this condition can be intensified by having many friends who are pregnant or have recently had a child, ovulation, or general life situations and is not limited to women. "Daddyitis" (babyitis in men) is not as common, but has been shown to occur when a male is feeling similar manifestations of babyitis.

Yes. I have a serious case of what I like to call "Babyitis". It is killing me. Everywhere I look, there are babies. The clouds are all baby-shaped. All the pregnant women know when I'm going out, and plan to go out at the same time as me. All the ugly babies, the crying, bad-mood babies, and terrible toddlers are hidden away at this time.
What's worse, is it comes no less than two days after V and I had the discussion. We've had discussions of a similar nature before, but we talked about it most seriously two days ago.

I've always known I want to be a mom. I've spent countless hours daydreaming about it, saving little things, making minor (minor!) preparations... I even brought baby blankets to Ireland when I moved. They're special. Don't judge.
I have had babyitis on and off for at least the past seven years. SEVEN YEARS of dreaming for something, you can imagine that the babyitis got pretty bad sometimes.
Well in the discussion, V and I talked about how soon we'll be out of debt (this year! hooray), and sensibly decided that we would like to wait at least a couple years. We'd really like to enjoy some time together without what currently feels like an anvil suspended over our heads, without just making our ends meet, and with a little more wiggle room occasionally. We've talked about wanting to be more settled - in a more permanent place so that our kiddo can grow up in one place with all the same kids (hopefully).
We came to the conclusion that three years from now, we'd have enough saved and have had our fun as a couple that we would probably be ready for a baby and be more apt to know where we want to be at that time.
I do realize that life happens, and plans change - but that is what we have decided on for the moment.

image found on Pinterest.

For the first time in my own history, I found comfort in the decision. It was a great thing not to feel disappointed or to feel like i'm just settling to make someone else happy. We came to the decision together and I am satisfied. Go me!

Too bad that satisfaction came with a little babyitis. It's like those times when you're allowed two sick days at work. It's coming on the end of the year, and you decide to be "sick" and take a long weekend to Cabo... you drink the water, and end up actually getting sick, and where are those sick days? Gone with the... well... we won't discuss that.

So with a few of my friends being currently pregnant, at least one trying,  and with a newborn in my friend circle here in Ireland - I can't believe I've lasted this long.
Actually, it was a video that a friend of mine posted yesterday of her kid being adorable that set me off. Sigh...

While I am still very happy with our decision, I can't help but long for a little one of my own. But that's babyitis for you. It comes unexpectedly and leaves unexpectedly.

I just have to get through this... I just have to get through this... I just have to get through this...


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